I am about to get personal, deep, and nostalgic here! Leaving Glasgow and the people I have bonded with back there felt like leaving a part of me behind. This was similar to when I left Spain in 2015. This may sound very “movie-ish” or exaggerated, but it is endlessly important to me, so I felt it very, veeery deeply. Everything seemed surreal when I received the offer to study in Australia (… and it still does).
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Our hearts synchronized as our lips sang our favourite songs together. Our laughter was contagious and our minds connected as we shared the most important moments of our lives. Time dissolved into nothingness.
Suddenly, a friend told me that the study abroad replies were out. My muscles tensed up as tight as a rope being held by someone down a cliff, and my train of thought dashed and multiplied. I opened the email with hands that were hard to keep firm. When I saw that I was accepted to study in Australia my train of thought stopped. My muscles still felt tense. My insides were suddenly flooded with a mixture of feelings I could not even decipher. The increasing energies and emotions overflowed to the outside as oceans through my eyes.
I felt as though I was living on anther person’s shoes. It was so hard to believe that it was real. That my life could drift to the opposite direction. That all the hard work had paid off. That I had the opportunity to go to the other side of the world.
Making the decision of whether to accept or reject the offer was even harder (you may be thinking: what the hell? Why not accept it straight away?). If you know me, you know that I find it hard to make decisions. Very. Hard. I felt like I had been driving on a straight, wide, and smooth road. Then, I reached a division of two narrower roads, both with killer curves, and leading to different directions. The rest of my life depended on this decision. That had to be made in a day (a day!?!?). Choosing one road meant losing the other.
… I accepted.
I felt as though I was flying high up in the sky, and I also felt wind pushing me back as I tried to move forward. I felt as though I was going to pursue my dream, and I also felt like I was going to lose a part of me. I have never had so many feelings and things going on at once. It is the most bittersweet feeling I have experienced in my entire life.
And I think this is beautiful. Both good and bad feelings… because there is nothing better than balance. Living life means to experience every single moment, every single feeling. You are the viewer of what is both outside and inside you.
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Even though it may be overwhelming at times, I feel like I am experiencing life as I had never done before. Just seeing how everything unfolds impresses the hell out of me. And… I have no clue of where I am going, or the exact reason why I am doing this, but I know this is the right direction.
Glasgow will always have a piece of my heart.
Thank you, Glasgow ♡